Dumpy, Lumpy, Tubby, and Squeaky,
Ate each others vomit weekly.
Dumpy was white and hairy and small,
And took hourly dumps that were ten feet tall.
Lumpy was smallest, yet pudgiest too,
And filled her cage with guinea pig poo.
Tubby was large, and by large I mean fat,
He slept all day, a lethargic cat.
Squeaky was thin with a feminine voice,
He liked fashion and ballet and boys of his choice.
New Daddy liked cats, he didn't like dogs,
Dumpy was one he wished to flog.
But Dumpy filled Mommy's heart with joy,
Despite Dumpy's dumps and the toys she destroyed.
Lumpy lived in a large wooden cage,
She was feminist, wise, and remarkably sage.
Tubby disappeared for days upon days,
He was too fat to run and too awkward to play.
Squeaky impressed with his elegant swag,
Mommy and Daddy both joined PFLAG.
All of these animals were encouraged and loved,
Petted and cuddled and snuggled and hugged.
Because they were Dumpy, Lumpy, Tubby, and Squeaky,
And they ate each others vomit weekly.
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