Laura and Ian See Cougars On Separate Occasions and Ring in the New Year

1. Ian and Laura See Cougars

When I say Ian and I both spotted cougars, I don't mean we spotted older women prowling a nightclub. I mean we spotted large cats who could kill and eat us.

About a month ago, I was sitting at the table eating breakfast at 7:00 in the morning. As I gazed out the window, I saw an enormous golden-tan cat walking up the driveway next door. It looked like this:

My heart leaped into my throat, and I froze. Then I jumped out my chair and looked wildly for Winnie, Spottswood, and Harvey to make sure they were safely inside. 

Since animals that look like this would obviously live in the wild outdoors:

Then I frantically tried to figure out how I would get in my car to drive to work.

Would I call in and say: "Hey, Mr. Boss, I can't come to work today. There's a cougar in my driveway." And he would be all, "God, Laura, couldn't you just fake sick? What, is there a shark in your bathtub, too?"

And then I tried to figure out how I would take Winnie out to potty.

Winnie has to pee every four hours, and she can only hold it for so long. Oh no, she'll explode. OH, CURSE THAT COUGAR FOR HIS MIGHTY JAWS AND LIMBS. MY BABY WILL HAVE NO BLADDER LEFT, AND WE'LL HAVE TO BURY HER EXPLODED INSIDES.

By this time, the cougar had stalked off. And then I felt weird, or maybe silly, and most definitely stupid. My internal dialogue ran like this:

"Laura, there's no way a cougar would just walk up the driveway. You were still asleep. The perspective was off. You probably just saw a house cat. Of course! It was a house cat, and my mind played a trick on me."

After giving myself a pep talk, I motored to work and later relayed the events to Ian, ending the story with, "but it was just a house cat."

Fast forward to last week. Ian was riding his bike on the Green Line early in the morning on his way to work. He thought he saw two house cats. Here's his internal dialogue:  

"Hey! Kitties! Here, kee kee kee! Oh... oh shit. Those are cubs. And that's their giant ass mother. OH MY GOD, PEDDLE FASTER."

After a bit of Googling, we learned there have been a few cougar sightings in our area over the past few years.

So that's how we both saw cougars, and that's how I learned I wasn't crazy.

2. Ringing in the New Year

What can I say? Ian drank two beers, I guzzled orange juice, and then we put the union suit on the dog.

This is how we throw a party.

We both passed out on the couch at 10:00pm. Ian woke at 11:00 and dragged himself to bed. I decided that was too much effort, so I continued sleeping on the couch.

I woke at midnight, long enough to snap this photo:

Getting buck wild on New Year's Eve 

Happy New Year, everyone!