The Rapture, the Birthday, and the Dress: Winnie Turns One

Ian: "What are you doing tonight?"

Laura: "Winnie's birthday is Tuesday, so I need to go to Pet Smart to buy her a dress. Obviously."

Ian: "Ha."

We don't know Winnie's exact birth date, since she's a rescue. Her vet proclaimed May 24, 2010 her birthday upon examining her teeth, so that's the day we celebrate.

For months, I have been telling Ian that Winnie will settle down when she turns a year old.

Stop worrying about annoying puppy behavior! Winnie's first birthday will signify a landmark day of maturity, sensibleness, and infinite grown-up doggy wisdom!

She'll stop chewing through leashes! She'll stop chewing on chairs! She'll doo doo every eight hours instead of every three hours!

I fanatically clung to my beliefs, despite every dog owner on the planet remarking that it takes three, four, or even five years for a pup to calm down.

Dog Owner: "Wow, Winnie still has that puppy energy."

Laura: "She'll be a year old in a few months. She'll settle down then."

Dog Owner: "My dog didn't calm down until he was five."

Laura: "Oh. Yeah. Well...." <waves off comment, secure in superior knowledge that Winnie will sleep twenty hours a day the minute she turns one>.

I was like one of those rabid Judgement Day people.

Judgement Day People: "God will return on May 21st and take me to heaven!"

Laura: "Winnie will turn into a mature dog on May 24th and it'll feel like heaven!"

Alas, no rapture occurred on May 21st, nor did Winnie reach full maturity on May 24th. Winnie spent her first birthday wildly chasing Ian's cats and chewing through another leash. 

Much like Howard Camping, I've had to postpone that rapturous day when Winnie Grows the Hell Up to a later date. A much later date. Like, three to fours years later. Or maybe five or six. 

At any rate, here's Winnie wearing a dress on her first birthday.