(To the person who stumbled upon this blog after Google searching "Laura modeling": I sincerely apologize.)
(To the person who stumbled upon this blog after Google searching "Maltese wearing clothes": Welcome, my friend. Welcome.)
My panicky feelings began to subside when Ian started a blog. That's right. New Daddy himself has a blog.
His oral communications professor required him to create one for an assignment. Ian thought it was lame. I thought it was rich.
Ian had to create a blog offering tofu testimonials, written from the perspective of an elderly woman.
I'm not making this up.
Ian wrote this awesome tofu testimonial:
I've been trying many new things with my diet. I recently had a doctor's appointment that was quite disappointing...high this, high that. I knew I had to do something.
I started exercising a little more and doing yoga. One of my friends is vegan and always trying to convince me to stop my meaty ways. I'm not a big carnivore, but tofu is just so void of taste.
Well, not anymore! Sally gave me her tofu bible....it's called Tofu for You. Tofu for You is jam-packed full of recipes all that will change the way you look at tofu forever.
Every recipe is health conscious and there is so much variety that I could eat tofu year round and never get bored! I don't know how anyone could stand to eat tofu before?! I highly recommend Tofu for You. It will make tofu titillate your taste buds!
That was just the written part. Ian also had to craft an actual blog. As an experienced (heh) blogger, I know the key to a successful blog lies in offering personal details, anecdotes, and pictures.
Thus, I crafted a thoughtful "About Me" page for Ian's tofu testimonial blog:
My full name is Ethel Sandra Trisha Inez Catherine Louise Esther Susan (E.S.T.I.C.L.E.S.). I love my cat so much.
I am a retired marketing specialist. I worked for the Kotex company for 25 years. I'm the one who came up with that red flower Kotex design. I feel a literal depiction of periods helps to empower females.
I have a 5 year old grandson named Skyler Caiden and a 7 year old granddaughter named Dakota Harper. I also have an 8 year old cat named Mr. Snuggles.
When Ian realized I had published the above information, he shrieked a bit and insisted I delete it. Which I did.
But not quickly enough, because the next night, a girl in his group timidly asked about the Kotex stuff on the blog. You know? With the red flower? I'm pretty sure Ian played confused on that one.
He kept the miscellaneous information I added, such as favorite movies (Titanic), music (Celine Dion), favorite books (When God Writes your Love Story, Chicken Soup for the Grandma's Soul), and interests (lambs).
Pretty tame, huh? I preferred the Esticles stuff.
Finally, I uploaded a nice photo. Here's Ms. Ethel Sandra Trisha Inez Catherine Louise Esther Susan:
http://singlegrannyinthecity.blogspot.com/
Everyone go and leave a comment!
I wonder if Ms. ESTICLES could teach me how to make that FANCY hat. I could wear it to a tea at church, or a Bible study. That sure is one FANCY hat. It's FANCY!
ReplyDeleteBless Ms. Esticles' heart. She was awfully excited to take such a handsome photo. That's her favorite outfit. She sure is proud of herself for learning how to upload photos. She told all her Bible study gals about it.
ReplyDelete