Laura: "Spottswood's teacher asked everyone to write about their best friend today. And Spottswood wrote about you. He told the class that his daddy is his best friend."
Ian: "Awww. That makes me sad. All the other kids have best friends in school, but Spottswood doesn't. He only has me."
Laura: "The other boys tease him because he loves ballet and doesn't play sports. Bobby and Timmy are pretty mean to him sometimes."
Ian: "Awww. Poor Spottswood. I need to schedule a meeting with his teacher."
Laura: "That's a good idea."
Ian: "You're giving me a complex. I keep forgetting that in real life, Spottswood sleeps at home all day, plays with the dog, and probably isn't gay."
Laura: "'Probably' being the operative word."
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