Dogs are Dumb; Oh My God, So Dumb

ER Vet: "Hello, this is the Animal Emergency Center. How may I help you?"

Laura: "My dog just chewed up a roach motel. I'm not sure how much poison she ate. Will she be okay?"

ER Vet: "What brand is the roach motel?"

Laura: "Hey, what brand is the roach motel?"

Ian: "I think it's Combat."

Laura: "I think it's Combat."

ER Vet: "Combat should be okay. Let me look it up, just in case."

Laura: "Okay."

ER Vet: "All right, she should be fine if she ingested a little poison. The plastic is the dangerous part. Did she eat any plastic?"

Laura: "No. She just chewed on it."

ER Vet: "She should be fine." <Giggles>

Laura: "Thank you. I just wanted to make sure. Bye bye."

Ian: "So she's fine, right?"

Laura: "Yeah. I was Googling while she talked. Apparently a dog would have to eat like eighteen roach motels to really run the risk of anything toxic to the mammalian system."

Ian: <Giggles> 

Laura: "What if she had told us to induce vomiting?"

Ian: "I'd have told you to have fun."

Laura: "Do you think she'll get sick?"

Ian: "Nah. She's really hyper right now. We should feed her another roach motel."

Laura: "Winnie, you ate poison. You're the laughing stock of the Emergency Vet.  And you might get sick to your stomach. How do you feel?"

Winnie: "Awesome."