Ian: "Never. 'New Daddy' commands respect. Winnie's not allowed to call me 'Daddy'."
Laura: "Have you noticed me trying to casually call you 'Daddy'?"
Ian: "Yes. And I don't like it."
Laura: "Hmm."
Ian: "By the way, if I'm New Daddy, what happened to Old Daddy?"
Laura: "Old Daddy died in a car crash."
Ian: "That's sad."
Laura: "I gave birth to Winnie shortly after the accident."
Ian: "You're Winnie's biological mother?"
Laura: "Yes. Winnie looks like her father. You see, I had sex... with a dog."
Ian: "It's too bad she got his brain instead of yours."
Laura: "Genetics are funny like that."
*Winiferd in the Burbs does not condone bestiality.
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