Luring Readers

Ian and I watch the page views on the blog constantly, eager to see the number grow.

Ian: "How many views did the Lost story get?"

Laura: "Not nearly as many views as The Pool"

Ian: "I wonder why?"

Laura: "I don't know. I guess people really liked it. The page views skyrocketed. They were double what we usually get."

Ian: "I thought the Guinifred story was stronger."

Laura: "Me too."

I've been thinking it over. And the only great departure between "The Pool" and any other story on this blog?

Ian. Shirtless.

I'm positive Ian beefcake brought in the extra views. I may be a progressive feminist, but I will offer up more photos of shirtless Ian for women to objectify if it means double the views.

This is a blog we're talking about. This is serious business.

Ladies, don't hold back. Click here and leer at Ian's chest. It's for the greater good.

Why do you offer up my body for sexual objectification and capitalistic gain? I feel so used.

I am NOT posting this one to my Facebook.

This week promises to be busy and chaotic. I'm packing up all my stuff and moving in with Ian this week. I finally told my parents (on Father's Day! I love you, Dad! Guess what?!). 

My parents reacted positively, although my mom couldn't resist leaning over and whispering, "You know you'll by living in sin." And I was like, "Yeah. It's coo." 

Anyways, both Ian's and my parents support our sinful living arrangement. Which makes Ian and me feel pretty ecstatic.

We have a busy week ahead of us. Moreover, I've had spotty internet connection for the past few days. I may only post once this week, but I'll check back later with more stories, such as the gory moving day details. 

And I'll provide the answers to things you all want to know: 

• Is Spottswood gay or straight?
• Is Harvey really that fat? 
• Who is CDR, that second guinea pig you mentioned in your About Winiferd in the Burbs page? 
• Why do you keep linking back to old crap on your blog? 
• And when will Winiferd the dog achieve international superstardom? 

The answers to these, and much, much more, are coming up next month.   

Bye bye, apartment. I surely did love barking at passers-by at two in the morning and receiving non-stop squealing attention from my apartment-dwelling admirers.