Ian wishes I didn't ignore the cats, or run away screeching if they sit near me, or chase them manically out of the bedroom every night.
Ian: "I feel bad for Spottswood. He always snuggled with me in the past. I'd wake up in the middle of the night spooning him."
Laura: "That's very cute. But imagine spooning poison ivy. Because that's like me spooning a cat."
Ian: "Ouch."
However, Spottswood's a charming kitty. He's skittish and shy around strangers, but amiable and playful around family and friends.
Spottswood is a sensitive cat. A very sensitive cat. If you catch my drift.
Laura: "Spottswood, you're a beautiful rainbow. You can be whoever you want to be. If you want to date males instead of females, your Daddy and I will support you."
Ian: "Spottswood's not gay."
Laura: "Spottswood, don't ever change. Don't let societal gender expectations affect you."
Ian: "Laura, Spottswood's not gay."
Spottswood doesn't meow; he squeaks. His kitty noises reach ranges that only dolphins and nine year old girls can attain.
Spottswood exhibits occasional bursts of manliness. He holds his own against a hyperactive Winiferd. If Winnie gets too rough, he'll swat with claws, producing doggie squeals.
Bitches need to know their place, you know?
Men, please take this moment to shield your eyes and scroll ahead. If not, I apologize in advance for abusing your sensitive masculinity.
Every month, Spottswood displays a intense interest in the bathroom wastebasket.
Dear Laura,
Today we lost. I awoke this morning to find that the bathroom doors had been breached, the waste can knocked over, and in the middle of the living room, wrappers and applicators. Today will go down in infamy in regards to feminine hygiene products.
Love,
Ian
Dear Ian,
It's times like these I could swear he's straight.
Love,
Laura
Spottswood enjoys posing daintily for the camera, his head resting angelically on his arm. Please enjoy the following pictures.
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